Our New World of Adult Bullies connects the dots to show how bullies at all levels of society follow the same predictable patterns of behavior.
Bullies exist everywhere: families, workplaces, neighborhoods and communities, politics and government, and organizations of all types and sizes. And in a media landscape where conflict, crisis, chaos, and fear reign supreme, every day we see the worst behavior of celebrities, politicians, and other public figures who serve as role models.
Winners and losers. Friends and enemies. Heroes and villains. People with high-conflict personalities think almost solely in these extremes. They regularly express unmanaged emotions, routinely blame others, and do harmful things that 90% of people would never do. Bullies share these characteristics, plus a drive to dominate or destroy their victims.
But all bullies act in the same highly predictable patterns, regardless of their demographics and situation. By focusing on the ten hidden powers bullies employ--from their unrestrained nature and bully story to manipulating emotions and playing the victim--Bill Eddy unpacks the way bullies rely on primitive emotions and nonverbal behavior. He helps readers spot these behaviors and offers practical actions before they become immobilized by helplessness, blame, and shame.
In today's world, we all may have an adult bully in our lives sooner or later. For anyone who has a bully in their life now, for professionals who counsel victims of bullying, and for anyone who is concerned about the fraying of our culture and society, this book gives effective strategies to prevent bullies from taking over. Eddy's six-step approach includes useful advice on how to:
Recognize the patterns of bully behavior Pull the plug on the bully's story Set limits with credible threats Impose serious consequences Communicate effectively about bullies to others Stand strong with others against bullies
Our New World of Adult Bullies takes a closer look at the dangerous behavior of bullies and how to stop the behavior before it starts.
"Bill Eddy gives elaborate explanations, with myriad examples at every level of society, of why and how adults with persistent aggressive and domineering behaviors get their power, and how to most effectively respond without getting caught in their sticky webs of influence. It will serve as an instructional manual for readers in understanding and responding to dominating behaviors by individuals within various contexts, including their families, their workplaces, online and even in elections." --Don Saposnek, Ph.D., author of Mediating Child Custody Disputes and co-author of Splitting America
"Bill Eddy sheds light on the why and the how of bullying and gives the other 90% of the world tools to help stop this epidemic from ruining our families, communities, and nations. He offers a highly focused and effective application of compassionate accountability you can use to manage bullies in your life and keep yourself from getting sucked into the toxic win-lose vortex." --Nate Regier, PhD, CEO, Next Element Consulting, author of Compassionate Accountability: How Leaders Build Connection and Get Results
"What a fantastic book. Yet again Bill Eddy has distilled decades of wisdom into down-to-earth concepts that resonate deeply and strategies that are attainable for practitioners at all levels. A must-read for family violence survivors seeking tips on how to safely and effectively instruct counsel, work with a mediator or self-represent in court." --Hilary Linton, JD., LL.M., president, Riverdale Mediation Ltd. and mediate393 inc.
"A universal problem intensified and exacerbated by the advent of social media, "Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them - How to Stop Them" must be considered essential reading for readers with an interest in the dangerous behavior of bullies with the intent of learning tools and techniques for avoiding, preventing, stopping, and recovering from bullying behavior in others." --Midwest Book Review
Bill Eddy is an attorney, therapist, mediator, and the Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He develops methods to help resolve high conflict family, workplace, and legal disputes, including EAR Statements(TM), BIFF Response(R) emails, New Ways for Families(R) skills training methods for potentially high conflict parents in divorce and New Ways for Work(TM) coaching for potentially high conflict employees. He has trained lawyers, judges, mediators, and therapists in 38 states and 13 countries in managing high conflict personalities. He is the author of over 20 books and manuals for managing high conflict disputes. As a mediator, he was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center based in San Diego for 15 years. Previously, as a lawyer, he was a Certified Family Law Specialist in California for 15 years representing clients in family court. Prior to that, he provided psychotherapy for 12 years to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. His Psychology Today blog has received over 6 million views.
Health Communications
Pub Date: June 11, 2024
0.71" H x 8.35" L x 5.43" W
288 pages
paperback