A groundbreaking guide to raising responsible, capable, happy kids
In Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science, & Better Behavior, we explore:
- The body-brain connection to behavior, why most "consequences" don't work, and what to do instead -- all within the framework of positive discipline
- How parents and children can regulate their nervous systems to foster greater connection, even in the thick of adversity
- How to use different types of storytelling and playful parenting as effective and benevolent teachers
It covers these topics from the contexts of neuroscience, attachment theory, and best practices of conscious parenting. This book helps mitigate adults' very real struggles, and gives them specific strategies that increase cooperation and connection, whether they're parenting preschoolers or older school-age children.
Excerpt:
A parent walks into their child's bedroom and finds the child, for no clear reason, pulling all the clothing out of the drawers and throwing the items haphazardly across the floor.
Without missing a beat, the parent yells, "What are you doing? Stop it! Put these clothes away right this second! Sheesh-I just folded them! What are you trying to do to me?" The parent then storms out, warning the child they have five minutes to make the room spotless or there will be negative consequences.
The frustration is certainly justified. Who wants to put away laundry once, let alone twice?
At the same time, the child likely feels small after having been yelled at by their trusted big person. The child may or may not know why they were throwing the laundry. (Boredom? Curiosity? Temporary loss of marbles, literally or figuratively?) The child may also feel afraid- perhaps of the punishment itself, or perhaps of their perceived loss of connection with their parent. Either way, the child feels distant, helpless, and small-and likely sad or resentful.
Soon thereafter, the parent may have collected him- or herself and now feels like a jerk, having yelled for what feels like the hundredth time that week. They hate the way their outbursts seem to drive a wedge between them and their child, even when their feelings are justified. The guilt feels heavy and oppressive. They want a better path forward, but where to start? Is change even possible, much less change to which the child will actually respond?
Although the details might differ, we've all been there. Just when everything is moving along peacefully, our child throws us for a loop. They do something we wish they hadn't. We flip out, and it feels like a lost cause. All we wanted was to sit back for a second and take a breath, and now this happens (whatever this is).
Why can't things just be easier? Can we actually like our child and feel sure that they like us back?
I hear you, and I get it. And I'm here with hope and encouragement for you-along with some very practical tools within the framework of conscious parenting that will help you catch your breath (and exhale it fully, deeply, and calmly).
Offering a balance of science, practical experience, and new perspectives, Peaceful Discipline guides parents to a lifetime of easier, deeper, and stronger relationships with their kids. - Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., New York Times Bestselling author of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline
Accessible, tender and wise, this book provides parents with actionable tips and strategies that will forge more connected and joyful relationships! - Mona Delahooke, Ph.D.
I really enjoyed Peaceful Discipline. Families can immediately benefit from trying these ideas, many of which don't appear in other parenting books. I particularly liked the story telling angle. This book is a straightforward and encouraging recipe for a more peaceful life with children. - Jessica Joelle Alexander, best-selling co-author of The Danish Way of Parenting
I know Sarah personally and she's the "real deal." Peaceful Discipline is a gift to parents everywhere. It's practical, insightful, and funny. It gives us tools we can use 'in the moment, ' as well as to lay the foundation for a lifetime of connection with our kids. Sarah covers not only what to do, but why. I highly recommend it for every home where children live. - Michele Borba, EdD, author of Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine
Sarah R. Moore is the Godmother of peaceful discipline! In Peaceful Discipline, Sarah has crafted an essential guide for every parent. It charts a path for parents to experience the joy of parenting. "Story Teaching" is a truly wonderful way of helping children gain the needed skills for a lifetime of happiness. I thought I knew just about every idea and strategy for parenting, but Sarah reminded me of how much more I could learn. - Sam Goldstein Ph.D. Co-Author of Tenacity in Children, Adjunct Assistant Professor, University of Utah School of Medicine
Sarah has beautifully crafted a book on discipline that is gentle while being clear and kind. It grounds the peaceful parenting approach and will leave you with a feeling of, "I can do this!" - Kim John Payne M.ED author of The Soul of Discipline and Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens
In a world filled with seemingly contradictory, overly-complicated, highlight-reel parenting advice, Sarah Moore offers a refreshingly honest, research-backed, joyful approach to raising our children in ways that best support them and us. Her focus on the parent-child relationship, brain development, and emotional regulation provides a foundation for the many practical concepts and strategies she provides. This book is a must-read for parents raising kids of all ages, and will benefit those with neurotypical as well as neurodivergent children. I look forward to recommending it widely at my clinic and beyond. - Nicole Beurkens, PhD, Licensed Psychologist
It really helps to know the "why" behind parenting theories. Sarah covers those in depth, along with concrete and relatable examples of "how" to have more peaceful relationships with our children. This book is practical and fact-based, and filled with real-life tools you can use today. It's shared by a knowledgeable, experienced, and reassuring author. I highly recommend this helpful book. - Elizabeth Pantley, best-selling author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution series
"If you're a parent who has been trying hard with your child, with mixed results, read this book. Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids can change your parenting life. Dr. Laura Markham shares an invaluable set of insights that are new to the world of parenting. She will show you how to deliver your love and guidance in a truly nurturing way, and how to avoid parental burn-out in the process."
--Patty Wipfler, Founder of Hand-in-Hand.org
--Lysa Parker & Barbara Nicholson, Founders of Attachment Parenting International, and authors of Attached at the Heart
--Nancy Samalin, M.S, author of Loving Without Spoiling
--Patty Wipfler, Founder of Hand-in-Hand.org
--Lysa Parker & Barbara Nicholson, Founders of Attachment Parenting International, and authors of Attached at the Heart
--Nancy Samalin, M.S, author of Loving Without Spoiling
--Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting
Table of Contents:
Foreword / Jack Canfield -- Introduction: Secrets of Peaceful Parents -- Part 1. Regulating Yourself -- 1. Peaceful Parents Raise Happy Kids -- Your Number One Responsibility as a Parent -- Breaking the Cycle: Healing Your Own Wounds -- How to Manage Your Anger -- How to Stop Yelling at Your Child -- When Your Child Melts Down: How to Keep Your Cool -- You Can Nurture Yourself While Raising Your Child -- Ten Rules to Raise Terrific Kids -- Part 2. Fostering Connection -- 2. The Essential Ingredient for Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids -- Why Connection Is the Secret to Happy Parenting -- Connection as Your Child Grows -- Babies (0-13 Months): Wiring the Brain -- Toddlers (13-36 Months): Building Secure Attachment -- Preschoolers (3-5 Years): Developing Independence -- Elementary Schoolers (6-9 Years): Foundation for the Teen Years -- Connection Basics -- How to Connect More Deeply with Your Child -- How Do You Know When Your Relationship with Your Child Needs Work? -- Connecting with a Difficult Child -- Action Guides -- Your Child's Emotional Bank Account -- What's So Special About Special Time? -- Daily Habits to Strengthen and Sweeten Your Relationship with Your Child -- Use Connection to Get Your Child Out the Door In the Morning -- Use Connection to make Bedtime Easier -- Ten Ways to Become a Brilliant Listener -- But How Do I Get My Child to Listen to Me?! -- When Your Child Just Shuts Down -- When You and Your Child Are Stuck in Negativity -- Part 3. Coaching, not Controlling -- 3. Raising a Child Who Can Manage Himself: Emotion Coaching -- Why Emotion-Coach? -- Emotional Intelligence as Your Child Grows -- Babies (0-13 Months): A Bedrock of Trust -- Toddlers (13-36 Months): Unconditional Love -- Preschoolers (3-5 Years): Empathy -- Elementary Schoolers (6-9 Years): Emotional Self-Awareness -- Emotion Coaching Basics -- How Children Develop Emotional Intelligence -- Empathy, the Foundation of EQ -- Your Child's Emotional Backpack -- Understanding Anger -- Meeting Your Child's Deepest Needs -- EQ Coaching with a Difficult Child -- Action Guides -- Seven Steps to Nurture Emotional Intelligence in Your Child -- Emotion-Coaching Your Child Through a Meltdown -- When Your Child Acts Out but Can't Cry: Building Safety -- Playing with Your Child: Games for Emotional Intelligence -- Additional Resources: Scripts for Sibling Conflicts -- 4. Raising a Child Who Wants to Behave: Dare Not to Discipline -- The Dirty Little Secret About Discipline and Punishment -- Guidance as Your Child Grows -- Babies (0-13 Months): Empathic Redirection -- Toddlers (13-36 Months): Sidestepping Power Struggles -- Preschoolers (3-5 Years): Learning Self-Management -- Elementary Schoolers (6-9 Years): Developing Positive Habits -- Setting Limits with Empathy: The Basics -- The Sweet Spot Between Strict and Permissive -- Should You Spank Your Child? -- Is Yelling the New Spanking? -- Transform Your Time-Outs to Time-Ins -- The Truth About Consequences -- Does Positive Parenting Work with a Difficult Child? -- Action Guides -- How to Set Empathic Limits -- How to Help Kids Who Test the Limits -- Wean Yourself Off Consequences: Twelve Terrific Alternatives -- How to Intervene in the Heat of the Moment -- Empowering Kids to Make Amends with the Three Rs: Reflection, Repair, and Responsibility -- Preventive Maintenance -- What If Your Child Crosses the Line? -- Additional Resources: Scripts -- 5. Raising a Child Who Achieves with Joy and Self-Esteem: Mastery Coaching -- What Is Mastery Coaching? -- Building Mastery as Your Child Grows -- Babies (0-13 Months): The Budding Scientist -- Toddlers (13-36 Months): Do It Myself: Developing Response-Ability -- Preschoolers (3-5 Years): Self-Mastery Through Problem Solving -- Elementary Schoolers (6-9 Years): Exploring Passions -- Mastery Basics -- Encouraging Mastery -- How Kids Develop Resilence -- Giving Constructive Feedback -- How to Avoid Helicopter Parenting -- What If You Have a Child Who Doesn't Develop Mastery Naturally? -- Action Guides -- Create a No-Blame Household -- Developing Responsibility -- Developing Good Judgment -- Homework Without Tears -- Trust Your Child-and Mother Nature -- Afterword -- When to Seek Professional Help -- The Future Is in Your Hands -- Acknowledgments -- Further Reading -- Notes -- Index.
Sarah R. Moore is the founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting, an author, speaker, armchair neuroscientist, and most importantly, a Mama. She's a lifelong learner with training in child development, trauma recovery, interpersonal neurobiology, and improv comedy. As a certified Master Trainer in conscious parenting, she helps bring JOY, EASE, and CONNECTION back to families around the globe. Her work has been featured in HuffPost, Scary Mommy, Motherly, Her View from Home, and The Natural Parent Magazine, among others. Based in Colorado, Sarah and her family spend much of their time worldschooling. (She speaks French and eats Italian food like a pro!) Her heart's desire is to bring greater peace and healing to the world through loving and respectful parenting.
Ponds Reads Press
Pub Date: November 07, 2022
0.6" H x 9.0" L x 6.0" W
286 pages
paperback